The Dream Truck

Dream-truck.jpg

I find it easy to have dreams. But I find it hard to make those dreams a priority in a life filled with other people– boyfriends, parents, employees, friends. It's my own thing. And I get that. There seem to always be reasons that my dreams stay there in my head, carrots that keep me moving forward, but not in the way that they feel in my reach. In the way that I always smile softly when thinking of them, saying with quiet resignation in my head, "someday,". A sad, but sweet smile finding its way onto my face. 

But I decided to do some G-D self coaching on this situation and this is what I found out about myself:

  • I don't need other people's permission to have my own dreams and make them come true
  • Asking for permission only erodes my own confidence in my decisions 
  • My fear of deciding what I wanted, then the prospect of not getting it stopped me from planning anything. It scared me so much that I might not get a dream, that I refused to take it seriously enough to put a plan into action. (kinda crazy, no?!)
  • Making other people a part of my dreams gave them more legitimacy in my mind. Like I needed someone else to be on board to make it worth the effort of trying (and maybe failing)
  • I didn't think i was worthy of my own dreams. The old "It's for those people, not me," kinda thing. Total BS.
  • It's ok to bring other people along with my dreams, and in fact it can make them feel closer to me when I share them. But I also don't 'need' them to sign off on them.

Back to the truck. This is what I did to get this truck:

  • I decided that YES I wanted a cool-ass pickup truck for hauling around a sweet tiny office for Team Flea
  • I created a vision board and put it right in the center
  • I began talking to everyone about it
  • I did a bunch of research on trucks and how you find an old truck. I found out from people in the know what I should look out for and what size truck I'd need to do what I wanted for work
  • I gave myself a deadline to get this truck and then carved out time on my calendar to work on it weekly
  • When the situation presented itself to me, I freaked the F out
  • Then I said YES and nervously gathered the cash together for it
  • I got my accountant to let me know what the best route would be for paying for it and writing it off for taxes
  • I freaked out that it wasn't the right decision (a few times, actually)
  • Then I paid. For. My. Truck. In. Cold. Hard. Cash. And drove away with it. 

The thing I realized was that I made this dream truck such a big thing and most of what I felt on my way to achieving it was drama around my own thoughts of "Is this the right thing to do?" and "Do I really deserve this?". We can't fully predict the future, but part of how we get close is to have BIG dreams and make BIG plans. 

Here's to your dreams, friends!

xosteph